Sears - the new overachievers?

Wow, was I wrong. The guy from Sears showed up at 10am, right in the middle of the scheduled window (tip: always get the first appointment in the morning, so there are "the technician is running behind because of problems at the appointment(s) before you" issues). He spent about 10 minutes diagnosing the problem (equal to the amount of time Google and I spent on it) and determined it was the compressor.

He then headed out to his truck, with me in tow to get the replacement part and the tools needed to replace it. Getting a peek inside the truck shed some light on things - like why it always took them 30 minutes to come back in and say "sorry, don't have it, need to order it" - the truck is a mess! Parts are all over the place. Two hours later, he was done, the refrigerator was fixed, and he was off to make someone else's weekend!

Awesome, thanks Sears. I can't say my faith has been completely renewed, but we're making progress.

It's all about expectations

Tomorrow's the big day. Our refrigerator/freezer died last week and Sears is "coming to fix it." I can't blame the refrigerator, it was already nearly 7 years old. For real - it's not even 7 years old. From the start we had issues. First it was the ice maker, then the door, then who knows what.

The other day it started making a strange noise - in hindsight, it sounded like an electric motor that was trying to start but binding somehow. That sound was followed by a clicking sound and then silence. I called Sears and the CSR said "maybe it's the ice maker, can you check that".. Sure bud, when I get home tonight I'll check the ice maker.

It wasn't the ice maker - that was turned off. Another call to Sears, some more "maybe it's this, maybe it's that." Please, just send someone out. I have a super duper Master Protection Plan (when you read that outloud, you're supposed to use a big, booming voice - like Obewan would have said - "trust the Master Protection Plan Luke") and all.

Which brings us to today. I'm not the world's biggest Sears fan. I'm sure I can blame this on my parents - when we were growing up, Sears was the place to be. They had everything you could ever want (still do), and it lasted forever. These days, their appliances suck, with the exception of the Kenmore vacuum I bought there, which didn't suck even though it was supposed to and has since been replaced by a Miele which sucks spectacularly. And their customer service totally sucks, which is somehow ironic, given the lack of quality in their merchandise.

Right.. Tomorrow morning the guy from Sears is supposed to come to look at the refrigerator. I've been having nightmares about how this is going to go, playing out roughly the same scenario over and over (I've possibly mistakenly assumed the guy will show up):

8:00AM Sears man shows up

8:05AM Sears man looks at the refrigerator and says "I don't see anything wrong,"

I'm prepared for this - I recorded it (with my new[for me] iPhone 3GS) making it's stupid noise and not starting the compressor. I learned when the asshole washer repairman left without doing anything useful. Jerk.

8:08AM Sears man says "oh, looks like the compressor's shot. Let me check my truck to see if I have one.

I've been this route too. He goes out to his truck, smokes a cigarette or two, updates his facebook status, etc. Comes back in 30 minutes later.

8:38AM Sears man comes back in and says "nope, don't have the part, I'll order it, it'll get here in a couple of weeks. When it does, call and we can make another appointment to come and install it."

At this point, I'm kind of screwed.. I can call Sears and complain, tell them I have a Master Protection Agreement, etc. But as far as I can remember, they don't give a crap what I have.

Customer Service Scorecard

I've made a bunch of customer service calls in the recent past and thought it would be good to report on them. I had read in a tweet not too long ago from @comcastcares that he thought our current economic troubles would result in improved customer service (I'm paraphrasing), and wondered how my experiences measured up.

HP - I called them because the computer I got from them was cheaper at a local store. It took three people (two calls and one chat), but I got someone who was helpful and offered me $100 credit (close enough to the $130 price difference to call it a wash). A- (it did take three attempts after all, though the final guy I talk to gets an A+ of his own)

American Express - This is a bit embarassing. I inadvertently paid the wrong Amex bill (yeah, I have two cards). One phone call was all it took - the guy who answered the phone understood what had happened and happily moved the money from one account to the other, and assured me there won't be any finance charges. A+

Cisco Small Business Support - Yes, I'm a small business. Or, rather, I buy the same networking hardware that a small business owner would buy. In this case, I had a Linksys SD2008 Gigabit switch that died (computers connected at 10Mb/s rather than 1Gb/s). I called the small business support number, and in less than 5 minutes, the RMA process was kicked off and I had received the emailed instructions. A+ -- but I'm going to have to knock you down a grade just because you sold me this switch which one out of every two reviewers on Amazon has had problems with. B+

Cisco Consumer Support (aka Linksys) - I buy consumer hardware too. In this case, it was an EG008W Gigabit switch. This one died a few months ago, but I didn't think to call to get it replaced. The Small Business Support guy couldn't help me, but he transfered me to a guy who should have been able to. I say "should have" because the conversation didn't go so well. There were communication issues, I said something about my computer connecting at 10Mb/s instead of 1Gb/s, he asked how I knew my computer was connecting at 11Mb/s (yes, he said "11"). The call ended when he put me on hold to "look something up" and then came back and started saying "can you here me? I can't hear you. Are you still there?" and so on until he hung up. I'm sure he heard me fine and was just covering his ass - "yes boss, something happened to the connection." F -- this isn't a surprise, is it?

Frys - everyone's favorite consumer electronics store. I stopped by this evening to get a Netgear switch (GS608) to replace one of the Linksys switches. I happened to see the Norton Internet 2009/Ghost package that I bought for $99 a few weeks ago on sale for $69. With no receipt, I walked up to the return counter, explained things, and was given a store credit of $30 (which I proceeded to spend on the Netgear switch :) A+ -- that's a first for Frys, huh?

Sadly, that only averages out to a C, but that's Linksys bringing the score down. Without them, the average is an A, so I'd say things are looking up. I'm looking to you, Linksys, to get your act together - quality products, competent support. Work on it. It's really not that hard to do.

HP Computer/Customer Service

I finally broke down and bought a new computer the other day. Our old HP desktop (m1050e) died back in December - first the disk went, and then the power supply, since it was 4 years old and mostly too slow to do anything, I didn't bother trying to fix it, I just decided to wait til something new and exciting came out and buy that.

So we waited. And waited and waited. Then finally, two weeks ago, HP listed a new machine - an m9660f on their site. It looked pretty nice, 8GB of RAM, 750GB of disk, AMD Phenom II-940 processor, etc. It was everything I needed, apart from lots of spare drive bays (one internal 3.5", one external 5.25"), and it came with Vista (64-bit) - ok, so it wasn't quite perfect. So I ordered it..

It arrived, yippee!! The box was all sorts of abused, the styrofoam packing material wast smashed all over the place (shame on you HP, using styrofoam, get with the program). And I spent the rest of the week installing things on it - iTunes, a new copy of Outlook (so I can sync my phone's contacts), Norton Ghost (so I can back up the boot partition - WTF Microsoft, would it have killed you to include this in Vista Home Premium?), and so on.

And then it happened. Friday I was flipping through the Frys ads in the Mercury News and there was my new computer, for $130 less than I had just paid 10 days earlier to HP. Crap. $130 will buy lots of accessories, so I called HP to ask for a price match. The computer came with a 21 day guarantee, so I was pretty sure I could say "fine, if you don't want to match Frys' price, I'd like to return the computer" (they cover return shipping too).

My first call to 1-800-BUY-MYHP was answered by "Jessica" (her real name, or so she told me). She assured me that they would match the price of any online retailer. Unfortunately, Frys' price online was different than the one in the paper. Amazon to the rescue - they were around $100 less than what I had paid hp.com. Jessica put me on hold to verify things, and then never came back. I sat on hold for over an hour, waiting, hoping for Jessica to come back. She never did.

Towards the end of my time with Jessica's music on hold, I tried online chatting, with "Sally." I wish I had gotten further with her, but I didn't. She told me they had no price matching policy, but said that I could fax the information (order number, copy of ad, etc) to them and someone would think about what they wanted to do. I somehow imagined this would take longer than the 11 days I had left to return the PC for free, so instead of doing so, I called the 800-BUY-MYHP again.

Thankfully someone other than Jessica answered. This guy read all of the information and then suggested that he could either give me $100 credit on the spot, or I could follow up and fax in all of the other crap and pray (he didn't mention prayer, that's my doing). Of course, I took the $100 credit - it was far easier than finding a fax machine, etc.

After the call, I took a survey which asked questions mainly about "this call" - not the others, but just this most recent one. That sucked. I had had three interactions, Jessica, Sally, and the unnamed guy. Of them, only the unnamed guy actually cared enough to solve my (ok, self-inflicted) problem. Jess and Sally didn't care. Sally just quoted company policy, and Jess, well, she's apparently not mastered the telephone system, so it's not clear where her competence lies.

Anyway, HP, if you're listening, roughly 66.7% of the people handling consumer post-sales issues aren't so consumer-friendly. You might want to look into that. And give the guy who took ownership of my problem some sort of bonus - he was really great.

Where the heck is my gosh darn t-shirt!

Way back at the end of August, the Obama Campaign sent me an e-mail - I could be one of the first to receive an Obama-Biden t-shirt if I made a contribution to their campaign. I bit. It was stupid, but I did. I sent them money. And I got an email confirmation. And nothing more. Seriously, it's now been more than five weeks, and I still haven't received my damned t-shirt.

I tried to be patient - I made it three weeks before I decided to call to see what was going on. I got the nicest woman who said something like "yes, they were delayed because there were so many orders; but we sent an e-mail to tell everyone they were delayed; the last of the orders went out on Monday." I pointed out that I hadn't received this e-mail; but she assured me I would receive my shirt, and then offered to transfer me to someone else who could help me further.

And maybe this other woman could have helped me, if she ever answered her damned phone or returned my voicemail messages. I left a couple of messages last week and heard nothing back. Nice, real nice. I hope when Barack wins, that he finds more responsive people for his cabinet than he has running his gosh darn Internet store.

I made lots more calls - once or twice a day. Sometimes I would call the number for the "store" that I found online, other times I would call the number of the non-responsive woman. I never actually talked to a real person.

Finally on Sunday someone actually called me back. After a brief explanation of the problem, she said "sorry, we're the Obama store, we don't actually handle those orders, those are handled by another group; you need to talk to this other woman, her number is ..." The funniest thing - this other woman's phone number is only a digit or two different from the first woman who didn't return my calls.

Nice, real nice. Unfortunately, I couldn't leave her a message, as her voicemail was full - maybe I'm not the only one who hasn't received my shirt yet?

And then, surprise surprise, another call, on Monday morning. From another very nice woman, but unfortunately, one who is challenged by simple logic. The dialog went like this:

Me: I was calling to see why I hadn't received my t-shirt yet.
Her: They were sent out last Monday, you should receive it by the end of next week
Me: [wondering where they were sent from that they take two weeks to arrive]
Me: Can you check on it?
Her: No
Me: What if I don't receive it by next Friday?
Her: If you don't receive it by next Friday, we will know and we will get in touch with you
Me: How do you think you will know if I don't receive it?
Her: We will

Ok, let's just stop there. You can't track it, but you will know I didn't receive it? How - through some sort of telepathy? Perhaps you will telepathically sense my frustration? Or will it be from the phone call you get from American Express when I call them to dispute the charge?

Gruntled Customer

While I was in Scotland, I had data roaming turned off on my phone so as not to join the huddled masses who get back from a trip abroad with ridiculously high phone bills (thanks huddled masses for taking one for the team and showing us that data roaming is bad!). I was little withdrawn when there was no wi-fi around, but mostly ok.

Except for VoiceMail. No data means no Visual VoiceMail®. Fine, I can live with that, Apple thoughtfully put a "Call VoiceMail" button right in the middle of the VoiceMail dialog. Sadly, it didn't work. When I had a VoiceMail message, I pressed the button and nothing happened. I ended up calling my own number, etc to get my messages (no, pressing/holding "1" didn't work - I tried that too).

Today I got around to calling AT&T to complain for support. Not surprisingly, it was a waste of time (initially). The call went like this:

Me: I had data roaming off so that I wouldn't get charged, but the "Call VoiceMail" button didn't retrieve messages
AT&T Guy: With data roaming off you can't use Visual VoiceMail
Me: I know, but the "Call VoiceMail" button should have worked, right?
AT&T Guy: Does it work now?
Me: I don't know, I'm not in Scotland anymore
AT&T Guy: You need to take it up with Apple, it's a problem with the phone
Me: Thanks

And so I called Apple. Their phone menu asked a bunch of questions, the last of which was "are you having problems with VoiceMail?" - I thought "score, everyone has problems, they have a team dedicated to helping us!" I answered "yes" with just a hint of excitement in my voice. The system responded by telling me that it was an AT&T problem and transfered me back to them.

I think not. I hung up, and called Apple back, and lied to their phone menu (but I had my fingers crossed when I did it) and said I was having a technical problem. I rationalized it internally, telling myself that I was calling because the "Call VoiceMail" button was broken, not VoiceMail, strictly speaking.

A nice guy came on the phone, and after I explained the problem, he asked me to press and hold the "1" key to see if that tranfered me to my VoiceMail. I did, it didn't. Then we debated whether we heard one or two tones. I said there was one, as the customer I was right (though really it was two - the "DT" in DTMF means dual-tone - sorry Apple guy).

Since the "1" key trick didn't work, he said "it's an AT&T problem" and offered to transfer me to them. I explained nicely that I had just spoken to them, and they sent me to him, and if I was going to end up in the middle of them pointing fingers at each other, I would just live without the "1" key and find some very public place to post my experiences. I might've also mentioned that I knew Steve Jobs. Does seeing him shopping at Whole Foods count as knowing him?

Rather than send me to AT&T on my own, he offered to conference them in and go through things with them (i.e. he knew what was wrong with their system and could help them fix it). And that's exactly what he did - we sat on hold for ten minutes or so waiting for someone from AT&T to come on, look at my phone's settings on their end, say "it looks fine, wait, no, let me tweak this" and magically my "1" button now calls my VoiceMail.

And that's why I'm a gruntled customer rather than my usual disgruntled customer. Because some random guy at Apple wasn't sure whether I really knew Steve Jobs or not went out of his way to help me fix my problem even though it wasn't actually his problem to help fixing.

(by show of hands, how many people knew that 'gruntled' was a word?)

The Demise of Lufthansa

As hard to believe as it is, what with all of the crappy service I've endured on United Airlines, Lufthansa just became my least favorite airline.

Ethel and I booked a trip to go to Europe for summer vacation. We booked several months ago so that we could get decent fares. I noticed last month that somehow my last name was spelled wrong on the ticket (it's still not clear to me why American Express allowed Milton Dorkemhoff to use my credit card to pay for the tickets), so I called the ticket office.

I was told that there is normally a $50 fee to change a name, but it would be waived because it was obviously the agent's mistake. Cool beans. Scored points with me too, they admitted their mistake.

We're supposed to be leaving tomorrow, so I went online to print out our eTicket receipt (the beauty of flying paperless) and wouldn't you know it, my name is STILL spelled wrong. So I called Lufthansa again.

This time I was told "there will be a $50 fee to change a name" - I pointed out that I was told that before and was told it would be waived. And also that I had already called to get it changed four weeks ago (which was noted in the record).

After a lengthy pause, a feigned "I'll need to check with my supervisor" the agent came back on and said that the fee would be waived. Cool, ok, you pissed me off by making me wait, but at least this is settled.

Bzzz, wrong answer. It's not settled. The office that needs to reticket me (funny, I thought "eTicket" was electronic) is closed on weekends, so I actually have to go to a Lufthansa ticket counter to get reticked. Ok, fine. Alas, the only one around is actually at San Francisco airport, and they're only open between 10:30am and 2pm.

Yeah, that's primo - I need to drive 100 miles to the airport ($10.00 in gasoline) to fix your mistakes, after giving you a crapload of money for the ticket. Nice.. Tell me again why you're better than any other airline..

Veni, Vidi, Vindication

The Sears man came back to look at my washing machine this morning. This time I was prepared.

It started much like the last visit - he came to the door, I showed him where the washing machine was. He asked what was wrong, I said it leaked, he played with the dial and went through some of the cycles.

But I was prepared (did I mention that - I'm such the boy scout) Over the weekend, we did a bunch of laundry and I made videos of it leaking! Yup, that's right, I stuck a USB camera inside the machine (not in the tub) and filmed the leak. Many times in fact.

When it didn't leak for "the man" I said "it won't leak until 43 minutes into the cycle; why don't I get the video and show you." And that's exactly what I did - I took out my computer and showed him the leak, starting at 43 minutes, getting worse for the next couple of minutes, and then stopping.

He watched the video, and then said "ahh, the main seal is leaking" (I think he might've said "I don't know how long she'll hold up Captain" with a Scottish accent as well), and proceeded to tighten the various bolts and reseat the dilithium crystals.

Cool beans, I was thinking, maybe it'll be fixed. He said "if it still leaks, call me" just like last week's contestant. But this guy gave me his cell phone number! Holy crap - what service! Before he could finish writing his cell number, the spin cycle started and he got this "oh damn" look on his face - apparently the "washing machine" noise that I've always heard was a bad bearing. Bad bearings put pressure on main seals, cause leaks, etc.

So Sears man will be coming back when the parts arrive, it's apparently a "two man job" - maybe he'll bring the jerk from last week.

Comcast, Progress?

Finally, after over three months, I've gotten some sort of response from Comcast regarding "the case of the disappearing channels." Sadly, it wasn't worth the bits it was written with. The reply went something like this:

We're sorry it took so long to get back to you. I've talked with assorted people here at Comcast and can assure you that we are under no obligation to notify you about channel reassignments from one tier to another.

Ahh, marketing people, that was slick. "From one tier to another" - that would be "from analog to digital" presumably. Maybe you are, maybe you aren't. But, not only did you change the tier, but you change the channel positions. And that, my friend, is exactly what the FCC says you need to notify me in writing about.

Upon pointing this out, I received a "we'll need to research this with our lawyers."

Fast-forward 10 days or so, another email shows up - asking if I had only received voicemail messages about the changes.

Doh! Where have you been? What do you think this is about? Read my blog, sheesh. No, actually, don't read it, I say mean things about you.

Yes, that is correct, I am complaining and trying to get my local government after you because you only left me voicemail messages and didn't notify me in writing at least 30 days before you changed my channel lineup.

Why do I feel like I'm repeating myself? Is this a strategy - wear me down? Ha! It won't work. I've got the law (and cut/paste to resend things) on my side!

1-800-4-MY-HOME

Update: I looked around some online. Apparently I'm not so special, Sears just sucks when it comes to customer service.

A few months back, our washing machine developed a small leak - somewhere on the inside, water seemed to come from the right-rear leg. It didn't always leak, and it wasn't a lot of water, but I called Sears anyway (it's under warranty).

The lady who answered the phone was not too helpful - she asked where it was leaking from - underneath, I said. She asked if it could be the hoses - maybe, I don't know, I said. So we agreed that I would check the hoses and then call back with what I found..

Fast forward a couple of months - I checked the hoses and none seem to be leaking. And worse, the leak is getting pretty serious. So I called Sears again to schedule an appointment (still under warranty). They're a fun bunch, those call center people. The call went sort of like this:

Her: The earliest appointment is between 8am and 4pm on Monday
Me: That's fine, can you give me a four hour window?
Her: That was
Me: Uhm, 8 to 4 is an eight hour window
Her: Oh, right, sorry, 8am to noon.
Me: Ok.
Her: The technician will call before he comes; if you don't answer, he'll assume you're not there and you'll need to reschedule:
Me: If he calls before 8 and I'm not here, why would he assume I wasn't here; the appointment is for 8 to 12, I think I can be elsewhere until 8.
Her: No.
Me: Fine, he can call my cell number, I'm always "there"

Phew. That was rough.

Today was the appointment. At 9:30AM, the doorbell rang; it was the Sears guy - early (sort of), but no phone call. Apparently they don't do that for the first stop of the day - someone should share that with the woman who answers the phone.

I showed him to the washing machine. He pulled the top off and shined his flashlight around. Then he pulled the front panel off and did some more shining. Then he turned it on, spun the dial a few times, watched water flow in and out, and pronounced it "working fine."

I explained that it doesn't happen right away, and doesn't happen always, but that I had pictures. He said "maybe it's the seal, keep watching it, if it leaks, call back" - that's sort of how we ended up where we are right now. He pointed out that he couldn't sit with me for 2 hours while I did my laundry. I asked if he would be available if I called in 2 hours when it was leaking, he said no - kind of defeats the purpose of my watchng it leak, no?

I went upstairs and got my camera with the pictures to show him. He looked at the first picture and said "that couldn't come from the washing machine."


Uhm, really. What did it come from? Did it come out of the wall? Did it come from the dryer? "No, probably not." Did it come from the hoses? I checked them and they were dry. "I don't know where it came from, but it didn't come from the washing machine, it's not leaking now."

There you have it - it's not leaking now, therefore it never was. That's what service is all about.

Fly, be free

I took a quick trip to visit family last weekend. It was mostly uneventful (I'm speaking only of the flights), but a couple of things stick in my mind...

1. United Airlines lady - what's your problem? At 7:00AM, I'm really not in the mood to be berated. I arrived at 7:01 for a 7:40 flight; That's 40 minutes before the flight in my book. You didn't hear me bitching about the flight leaving an hour late, did you? Hmmm, wouldn't that mean I arrived 1:40 before the flight?
   
   You need to lighten up a little, it's the holiday season - you know, peace on earth, good will toward man. Maybe a better career for you would be prison guard? And, no, you weren't imagining things - the lady who checked me in and I were laughing about you.
   
   Update: United Lady Bitch - I was reading a United ticket jacket yesterday and noticed this:
   
   It says 30 minutes not 40 minutes. You're not supposed to just make shit up, sheesh! Now you're United Lady Lying Bitch.
   


2. To the man in seat 9C, United flight 51, Dec 17, 2007. You're gross. It's just that simple.
   
   Why would you have possibly thought it was ok to clip your nails at your seat and shoot nail bits about the cabin? It might be back home in the Ozarks, but it's not in civilization. It's just plain gross.
   

On that note, here's something I've been wondering about.. While a plane is taxiing after having landed, you can now pull out your cell phone (if you can do so without getting out of your seat, wink wink) and call your parole officer or whomever. Why is it that I can't also pull out my MP3 player and start listening to music? Is a cell phone somehow special?

Paint By Numbers

Over the Thanksgiving break, Ethel and I decided to do a few things around the house. The first item on our list was touching up the paint around the house - there were a few scratches here and there and lots of cat paw prints.

The builders left us a quart of the paint they used - Kelly-Moore 450-20 Western Acoustic (that brings to mind gunfights and cattle rustling, no?), but it had rust in it, so we took a drive to the local Kelly-Moore store.

We walked into the store and to the counter and waited patiently for someone to offer to help us. After a short wait, the sales guy came over - Painter Boy, or PB for short. I want to characterize the salesperson there as incompetent, but he wasn't. He was just lazy. Probably the son of the owner now that I think about it.

The conversation went like this:

PB: Can I help you (with sort of a "what now?" intonation)
Me: I need a can of 450-20 Western Acoustic
PB: 450 has been discontinued
Me: The number? Hmm.. Ok, do you have anything like it?
PB: No, nothing that will match
Me: What does the number mean?
PB: 450 means it's for contractors.
Me: Seriously? Don't you mix colors?
PB: Yes, but it wouldn't match
Me: [thinking he must not be very good at mixing if it doesn't match] Hmm.. Why not?
PB: Because it's different
Me: I realize that, how is it different?
PB: It just is
Me: Is it a texture thing?
PB: No, it's just different. All paints are different
Me: So 450 was discontinued. Was it replaced by something?
PB: Yes, either 550 or 1050, but they won't match, they're different
Me: What's the difference between them?
PB: 1050 is the contractors version
Me: Sounds kind of like the 450, no? Can I get a quart of that?
PB: No, it only comes in gallons
Me: What about the 550?
PB: That comes in quarts
Me: Can I have one?
PB: Oh, ok

All the while, I kept turning to Ethel wondering what it was I had done to elicit such utter stupidity from him. Once in a while, I will say or do something that triggers a bad reaction in someone - just like with the gate guy actually.

Ethel did a nice job touching things up (my job was to make sure the cats didn't get too close to the wet paint) - we should have Painter Boy to see if he can find the non-matching spots.

Take that! evil near-monopoly with an inept customer support staff

Ha! Comcast didn't know who they were messing with when they took away my California channel (whatever that is) with a scant 12 hours of notice and left a couple of mo-rons to answer their phone. They thought I was just some raving lunatic with a hammer who would accept their acts as gospel.

Think again! You see, the search engine is mightier than the sword. With a few scant queries on the Google, I found the FCC regulations guiding your operations. In particular:

Changes in Rates or Service and Billing Practices

Thirty days advance written notice (using any reasonable written means) must be given to subscribers and local franchising authorities of any changes in rates, programming services or channel positions, if the change is within the control of the cable operator....

Thirty days - do you see that? That's different than 12 hours. It's much more. Even if you count the hours slowly - one ... two ... three ... you won't be able to make 12 hours drag on for 30 days. No, I don't think even the Maccabees could have helped you with this one.

Ok, sure, if I was a fruit fly that only lived for 8 hours I'd never even know - you could have lied in your phone message and said "next month the California channel would go away" and I'd be dead long before I ever knew what happened.

But thankfully (for me, not you), I'm not a fruit fly so I do know what happened. And now you're so screwed.

Comtastic means Craptastic

I had an interesting conversation with some support people at Comcast this afternoon. Some background first. We've had Comcast for about three years now. They're our Internet provider and we get basic analog cable television from them.

I know, I know, the world is going digital, but I'm not ready for it yet. I suppose the primary reason I'm not ready for it yet is because I use a computer with SnapStream's BeyondTV to record shows I want to watch. It's just like Tivo, except that it's my computer, so I can put as much disk in it as I want without dealing with warranties, etc. I call it my Me-vo in fact.

Ok, back to the present. For the past few weeks, Comcast has been calling and saying "on XX, you'll no longer be able to receive channel YY with your analog cable, you'll need to switch to digital." So far, they've removed four channels. I'm not worried yet, as they've removed channels I didn't watch (TV Guide channel, AZN, CSPAN2, and most recently the California Channel), but I wanted to find out what their plans were so I could plan accordingly (i.e. panic if they were going to pull a channel I actually watched).

So I called them. After a few rounds with their phone system, I found Edgar. He seemed willing to help. I asked him what was going on:

Me: Edgar, listen, in the past three weeks you've pulled 4 channels; can you tell me what other channels you're planning to remove in the future? I'd like to make sure you're not going to get rid of anything I actually care about
Edgar: We're not going to get rid of any more channels. But you can upgrade to digital cable and it will only cost you $1 more per month
Me: I don't want digital cable, thanks. Do you have any sort of timeframe? Like you're not going to remove any channels this week, or this month, or this year?
Edgar: I don't. But let me check with my supervisor....

[Edgar came back a few minutes later]

Edgar: You should be ok for the next six months.
Me: That's great, can I get your information so I'll have someone to blame if that's not the case?
Edgar: Sure.
Me: I'd also like your supervisor's info so I can blame him or her
Edgar: I can't give that to you
Me: Then perhaps he or she can, maybe you can transfer me?

[A short time later Maricela came on the line - this is when the fun began]

Me: Edgar tells me that nothing more will change for six months, I just wanted your information so I would be able to tell the next Comcast person who it was that told me nothing would change for six months.
Maricela: Analog television is going away in January
Me: January is not six months from now. Edgar told me that you told him I had six months.
Maricela: It's about six months.
Me: No, it's not. There's November, and then December; that's two months
Maricela: October too
Me: October's half over, ok, so I'll throw you a bone. We have two months and two weeks
Maricela: O-c-t-o-b-e-r, N-o-v-e-m-b-e-r, D-e-c-e-m-b-e-r
Me: Saying the names slower doesn't make the month any longer
Maricela: Maybe til the end of January
Me: Ok, that's three months, two weeks
Maricela: You can get digital cable for only $1 more
Me: I don't want digital cable, and it will cost more than $1
Maricela: No, it's only $1
Me: Ok, how does it work
Maricela: We send you a box, you plug it in, hook cable up to it, hook it up to your television and its done
Me: Does it use electricity?
Maricela: Of course
Me: Well, that's not free, I pay for that too, so I guess it costs more than $1
Maricela: Uhm

That was about as far as we got. I really just wanted information, and Maricela wasn't in a position to give it to me - the only thing she knew for sure was that it would only cost me $1 to upgrade to digital cable, and I think she was heartbroken when I showed her it was more.

But I'm left wondering a bunch of things, including..

1. Is there a competent person at Comcast that I can talk to to find out what channels are disappearing and when?
   
2. Can they really do this - just yank channels with effectively no notice (I got a call on the 17th that the California channel was going away on the 18th)
3. Shouldn't I be getting money back? I getgot 80 channels, 4 are gone, that's 5%, so should I not be receiving a discount on my service now?