The Demise of Lufthansa

As hard to believe as it is, what with all of the crappy service I've endured on United Airlines, Lufthansa just became my least favorite airline.

Ethel and I booked a trip to go to Europe for summer vacation. We booked several months ago so that we could get decent fares. I noticed last month that somehow my last name was spelled wrong on the ticket (it's still not clear to me why American Express allowed Milton Dorkemhoff to use my credit card to pay for the tickets), so I called the ticket office.

I was told that there is normally a $50 fee to change a name, but it would be waived because it was obviously the agent's mistake. Cool beans. Scored points with me too, they admitted their mistake.

We're supposed to be leaving tomorrow, so I went online to print out our eTicket receipt (the beauty of flying paperless) and wouldn't you know it, my name is STILL spelled wrong. So I called Lufthansa again.

This time I was told "there will be a $50 fee to change a name" - I pointed out that I was told that before and was told it would be waived. And also that I had already called to get it changed four weeks ago (which was noted in the record).

After a lengthy pause, a feigned "I'll need to check with my supervisor" the agent came back on and said that the fee would be waived. Cool, ok, you pissed me off by making me wait, but at least this is settled.

Bzzz, wrong answer. It's not settled. The office that needs to reticket me (funny, I thought "eTicket" was electronic) is closed on weekends, so I actually have to go to a Lufthansa ticket counter to get reticked. Ok, fine. Alas, the only one around is actually at San Francisco airport, and they're only open between 10:30am and 2pm.

Yeah, that's primo - I need to drive 100 miles to the airport ($10.00 in gasoline) to fix your mistakes, after giving you a crapload of money for the ticket. Nice.. Tell me again why you're better than any other airline..

Fly, be free

I took a quick trip to visit family last weekend. It was mostly uneventful (I'm speaking only of the flights), but a couple of things stick in my mind...

1. United Airlines lady - what's your problem? At 7:00AM, I'm really not in the mood to be berated. I arrived at 7:01 for a 7:40 flight; That's 40 minutes before the flight in my book. You didn't hear me bitching about the flight leaving an hour late, did you? Hmmm, wouldn't that mean I arrived 1:40 before the flight?
   
   You need to lighten up a little, it's the holiday season - you know, peace on earth, good will toward man. Maybe a better career for you would be prison guard? And, no, you weren't imagining things - the lady who checked me in and I were laughing about you.
   
   Update: United Lady Bitch - I was reading a United ticket jacket yesterday and noticed this:
   
   It says 30 minutes not 40 minutes. You're not supposed to just make shit up, sheesh! Now you're United Lady Lying Bitch.
   


2. To the man in seat 9C, United flight 51, Dec 17, 2007. You're gross. It's just that simple.
   
   Why would you have possibly thought it was ok to clip your nails at your seat and shoot nail bits about the cabin? It might be back home in the Ozarks, but it's not in civilization. It's just plain gross.
   

On that note, here's something I've been wondering about.. While a plane is taxiing after having landed, you can now pull out your cell phone (if you can do so without getting out of your seat, wink wink) and call your parole officer or whomever. Why is it that I can't also pull out my MP3 player and start listening to music? Is a cell phone somehow special?