Ewww! Gross!!

Ok, people, let's role play for a bit.

Imagine you work at a fast food restaurant. You're responsible for making sandwiches. You're wearing those plastic gloves for a reason. It's called hygiene (pronounced "Hi Jean"). When the register lady has problems, you're allowed to help, but you really, really need to take off your gloves and put on a clean pair when you're done helping and go back to making sandwiches. You never know what I did with the money that I gave you.

Scenario Two. Imagine you're a customer walking through a farmers market. There are many stands around you with many wonderful looking foods. Some of the stands even have samples. If you look closely, you might even see tongs for selecting the samples. Use them. Wait! Don't take me so literally. Use them for selecting the sample, don't use them for putting the samples in your mouth. Try this - select a sample, pick it up with tongs, drop it into your other hand, insert it into your mouth. Seems reasonable, no?

Consider the alternative - select a sample, pick it up with the tongs, deposit it in your mouth. See the problem? Wretch, wretch. But fear not, you're not alone, turns out there are people even more disgusting than you around. Let's move on to the final scenario.

Scenario Three. We never officially met. You were filling your cup with water from the tap; I was getting silverware and a napkin for use with my nigh-lunch (grill guy - you never cease to disappoint me - it's grilled cheese, how can you possibly screw that up too!). With your right hand, you were holding your cup under the faucet. With your left, you were picking your nose. Yes, you were picking your nose. Call it "scratching an itch" if you like, the reality was that you were picking your nose.

Maybe you thought no one noticed. Maybe you thought I often gagged when selecting silverware. You were wrong on both counts. The reality is that more often than not, people don't sit at the water faucet and pick their fucking noses. They know better.

'nuff said.