Economic Stimulus Package

I try to stay up on current events, but I confess, the economic stimulus package caught me off guard. When I first heard about it, I thought it was something pornographic-related. I mean, really, "stimulus" and "package" in the same sentence? I thought maybe it was some sort of cheap vibrator.

I'm happy to say, I was completely wrong. It's not a cheap vibrator (nor an audio vibratory physio molecular transport device - for Rocky Horror fans in the crowd), it's intended to stimulate our not-recessed economy. The idea is simple - the government sends me a check, and I go and buy something with it (sadly, what I buy will likely be made in China, thus stimulating the wrong economy - will China quiver when their economy gets overstimulated?).

What a great idea Mr. President! I say, bring them on! In fact, how about this - don't send me a check; instead, just send it to Steve Jobs; and he can send me a new iPhone3G, ok?

Check Please!

I have a CD at Wells Fargo that was going to mature this week, so I popped in over the weekend to ask them to automatically roll them over. Seemed pretty easy - "Hi, I'm Milton Dorkenhoff, can I have my CD automatically rolled over, it matures on Wednesday?

And it was. We discussed the ever declining interest rate (hey, thanks Bush Administration, are you sure the economy is doing well? And where's my $300? I want to go buy some crappy "Made in China" electronics), and she told me that she would roll my CD over at whatever the current rate was on Wednesday.

Fast-forward to Wednesday.. My cell phone rings, it's her.

Her: Hi, this is Bertha at Wells Fargo, I'm calling about your CD that is maturing today
Me: Yes, I know. I stopped by and asked that it be rolled over automatically
Her: You did? Who did you talk to?
Me: You
Her: Really? Hmm.. Oh, right, here it is, I'm sorry
Me: Uhm, sure.
Her: Ok, I think we're set then.

WTF Bertha! What was the point of my stopping by if you were just going to forget that I was there anyway?