Candidate thoughts

I've decided to start something of a series, writing about the various presidential candidates, ragging on them for this or that. Today's winner is Mitt Romney (I wonder if this honor is that last thing Mitt will win).

Mitt made the news today talking about what he would do with his salary if he is elected president:

Later, speaking with reporters, Romney said he would likely accept the presidential salary of $400,000 annually but donate the money.

Yes, it's a noble gesture, to donate $400K to charity. That's a crapload of money, $400K. Countless people don't make that much in their lifetimes. But what does it mean to Mitt, let's see..

Mitt's net worth is estimated to be somewhere between $190 and $250M. Let's just use $200M - it's a nice round number. So $400K is about 0.2% of his net worth. Seems kind of small now, huh? Now, let's compare that to the average person. This CNN article says that the median net worth in the US is $100,894. 0.2% of that is a whopping $200.79. Suddenly, I'm less impressed.

Dare I forget, Mitt reportedly spent $6.3M of his own money a few years back in the Massachusetts governorship race.

In the news

Whoa lady, what are you thinking? I'm talking, of course, about Frieda Birnbaum, a 60 year old woman in New Jersey who just gave birth to twins. She said she wants to be a role model. I have to wonder for whom.. When asked why, she said wanted a sibling for her 6 year old. Sheesh lady, take a trip to the pound and get your kid a dog. How did you end up with a 6 year old? Was that an accident?

You're 60 lady, are you really in a position to care for two infants? What about 5 years from now; will you be able to get up in the morning to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for your boys for school? Imagine their high school graduation, when they point you out to their friends - "that's our mom out there, right, the one with the drool bucket."

And just how did Freaka (my new name for her) end up with child, you ask? No, it wasn't the old fashioned way (public toilet seat) - she went to South Africa to be treated at a "center that specializes in in-vitro fertilization of older women." Please people, don't you have something better to spend your money on?

Office Innovations

The other day I was sitting at my desk working on a problem. I just about had it figured out, when I had to "go." But I didn't want to go - I was sure I would figure out the problem if I just stared at it for a minute or two longer. That's when it hit me. Why should I leave my office just to "go." It's a waste of time. Ignoring that time spent actually "going," the time spent walking to the rest room and back is unproductive. And if I bump into someone along the way, there's the gratuitous conversation that ensues..

And that was when I came up with The Deskside Dumper™ (images to follow). It's so obvious - I can't believe no one has thought of it before. It's a toilet in a desk. Slide out a desk "drawer" and a comfortable porcelain seat slowly flops into place. Use it as you would any toilet, and when you're finished, slide the drawer closed and get back to work. Imagine the time you'll be saving!

If you're like me, you have at least one desk drawer that's not currently being used and can be converted to a Deskside Dumper. In my case, it's a lower drawer, filing cabinet size (that means it holds a large volume of "crap").

Bad Dog!

Every once in a while, a story jumps out of the headlines at me and I ask myself "holy shit, is this for real."

The story about Michael Vick and dog fighting did so today. Maybe he was involved in it, maybe he wasn't, that's ultimately for a jury to decide if he's charged (famous football players are 1 and 0 in jury trials), but I had to laugh when I read the comments of some of the other players (who hopefully don't read this so they won't beat the crap out of me).

Take Clinton Portis, of the 'skins (not one of my favorite teams, Go Cowboys). He said:

... "putting him behind bars for no reason." ...

"I don't know if he was fighting dogs or not," Portis said. "But it's his property; it's his dogs. If that's what he wants to do, do it."

I guess Clinton's degree was in law?

By quick show of hands, how many people think you can do whatever you want on your private property? Ok, those of you with your hands up (note: I didn't say "simon says"), have you read the Patriot Act lately?