Woohoo! I got a new TV!

I finally bought a flatscreen (LCD) television to replace my ancient 27" Sharp tube television. I came up with a few of what I consider to be good reasons for getting it:

1. It uses less power than the old TV,
2. I'll be able to read text on it from across the room, and
3. I got a great deal on it.

Ok, I'm not really sure whether it uses less power than the old one, but I think it does (anyone know how much power a typical LCD TV uses? What about an old tube?) And, as it turns out, the text is still hard to read. I really did get a great deal on it :)

I bought a Toshiba 37HL95. It's a 37" LCD. It has some pretty cool features, like hundreds of different inputs (dual antennas/NTSC/QAM/OTA tuners, a couple of composite inputs, component inputs, HDMI input, PC input, assorted A/V outputs, etc). And it looks great - not too big, not too small. And, of course the picture is stunning (over the air (OTA) HD rocks).

But like many things, it wasn't without issues. The first problem I ran into was with it's built in TV Guide feature. As part of the setup, I told the TV where I lived and who my cable provider is. Armed with that information, it can show me a TV guide, with the next week or two of program data.

Works great, except for one little thing... The guide lists the channels in random order. They're not in numerical order (e.g. channel 2, then channel 3, then channel 4, etc), nor is it in alphabetical order based on the network names (e.g. ABC first, then Bravo, then CBS, etc). It's just random.

Toshiba's web site had a link to email questions to, so I did. And they responded very quickly. But their answer wasn't too helpful:

Dear Sir/Madam,
Thanks for writing!
I apologize for theinconvenience.
I recommend contacting our Customer Solutions Department directly for assistance with your issue.
Their number is 1-800-631-381x and they are available Mon-Fri, 8AM-7PM Central time.

Not particularly helpful. I didn't really feel like calling, so I just lived with the issue (it's not really that much of an issue).

But then I started to think about securing the TV somehow in case of an earthquake for example. There are a couple of bolt holes in the back; they're meant to be used for wall mounting. Earthquake mounting, wall mounting, close enough. But I had no idea what size the bolts were. Rather than ask Toshiba, I went to the store I got the TV from - I figured not only would they know what size the bolts were, they might even have some.

Nope. They didn't know what size the bolts were, but they were perfectly happy to sell me a kit to mount the TV on my wall. So I e-mailed Toshiba support again. Seems simple enough, right? They responded, once again quite quickly with this:

Dear Sir/Madam,
Thanks for writing!
I apologize for the inconvenience.
I recommend contacting our Customer Solutions Department directly for assistance with your issue.
Their number is 1-800-631-381x and they are available Mon-Fri, 8AM-7PM Central time.

Look familiar? Yes, it's the exact same text, though each e-mail was signed by a different customer service representative, implying different people are dissing me.. I sent them another e-mail asking if there was a particular type of question they considered themselves capable of answering - they didn't respond, which I suppose answered my question.

But this time I took them up on their "contact the customer solutions department" suggestion. I first asked about the bolts - I mistakenly assumed they would have more details on the TV than I did. They did not. After 15 minutes and consulting "many" different sources (which I think mainly meant flipping through the owner's manual), the representative suggested I call a Toshiba service number (I eventually found a reference on the web - in case anyone is looking for them, the bolts are M6 (6mm), readily available at various hardware stores).

I then moved on to my next problem (the TV guide sorting). Yes, it's not important, but I wanted to give the rep a chance to answer a question, you know, go home thinking "well, I answered 50% of the questions I was asked today." I thought for sure this was just stupidity on my part.

Nope, it didn't happen. I explained the problem, and she said "that's the way your cable company sends them to the TV." Ok, fine, that's the way they send them, but they also send a "2" indicating channel 2, a "3" indicating channel 3, and so on. It seems logical to me that the TV would sort them using the channel number, no?

No, apparently it's not logical, because the TV just doesn't do it. But as sort of a consolation prize, the rep was going to open a trouble ticket of some sort with the programming group. That was several weeks ago, I've not heard back, so I'm guessing she was just messing with me - making me feel like she cared when she really didn't.

Toshiba's report card looks like this:

Television: A-
The TV is great - stunning picture, HD shows rock, and it's great having half a dozen different inputs, and I love the TV guide feature - especially the picture in picture deal where I can continue watching what I've decided I don't want to watch anymore while I look for the next thing I'm going to watch. But seriously, what were you thinking with the plastic bits in back for covering and holding the cables. There isn't nearly enough room in the back to run cables for all of those different inputs at one time. And the plastic bits covering the cables and holding them in place - I can't see them sticking around for too long (good thing I got the extended warranty)

Customer Support: D-
E-mail support wasn't helpful at all, unless I was looking for the customer service phone number, and the customer service person I spoke with was not able to answer any questions I had, nor has she (apparently) followed through on the trouble ticket she was going to open on my behalf.

Thanks for Playing Along

After my failed attempt at upgrading my flight a few weeks back, I wrote to United's customer service to complain about their policy. It took nearly three weeks, but they finally wrote back:

Thank you for contacting us regarding your flight on
June 28, 2006.  It is always good to hear from our
Premier Mileage Plus members.  I appreciate the
opportunity to respond.

Due to recent high travel volumes, we are experiencing
a delay in responding to our valued customers.  Please
accept my apology for not getting back to you sooner,
as well as for being unable to respond with a more
personalized reply.  From what you describe, we failed
to meet your expectations for providing good service.
Your feedback is important to us and in fact, helps us
identify our shortcomings and gives us an opportunity
to make service improvements.  Be assured that your
comments will be included in a report to the appropriate
management team for internal use.

We appreciate your business and hope you will give us a
future opportunity to restore your confidence in our
products and services.

Regards,

United Airlines Customer Relations

It seems pretty sincere, but if you really analyze what was written, there are some obvious issues. For example:

Due to recent high travel volumes, we are experiencing a
delay in responding to our valued customers.

Ok, so, you are experience delays in responding to valued customers because of high travel volumes? That seems to imply that with high travel volumes come high customer satisfaction issues, no? And that seems like a bad way to run a business.

And then there're these bits:

I appreciate the opportunity to respond. ... as well as
for being unable to respond with a more personalized reply.

So, let me see if I understand this.. It's good that I wrote to you so that you can reply, but you're busy and I'm unimportant, so a personal reply is unnecessary? Ok, makes sense. Tells me exactly where I, the customer, my place is.

And in closing:

We appreciate your business and hope you will give us a
future opportunity to restore your confidence in our
products and services.

How many chances do you want? One more? Three strikes and you're out? Did you say "pretty please with a cherry on top?" Why do you deserve another chance? What have you done to deserve my business? Why shouldn't I just find another carrier to fly with - who knows, maybe someone else out there will get it right the first time (I know, I'm a dreamer).

You're not going to believe this, but your e-mail just doesn't quite do it for me. I know, I'm high maintenance, but I need closure. Telling me that my comments "will be included in a report to the appropriate management team for internal use" means nothing to me.

Will the problem be fixed? Will your frequent flyer policies be improved to be more customer friendly? When? I know, these things take time. Your computer is old, it doesn't talk to the Lufthansa computer, etc? You know what? I don't care. That's your problem, not mine. If it becomes my problem, I'll just go elsewhere - avoid problems, that's what I do best.

Service with a smile

Me: New Prius owner, used to being catered to (i.e. high maintenance), witty, perfectionist; You: knowledgable service representative, honest, willing to cater to my needs.

That's how the personal ad I would have written to find someone to service my car would have looked. Thankfully, I didn't need to write an ad, the dealership I got the car from seemed perfectly able to service the car; or so I thought.

I made an appointment to get my car serviced (the first - 5K miles - woohoo!) two weeks back, but because of our unexpected trip I wasn't going to be able to make it. I called to change it, and was told that I didn't actually need an appointment - "just show up, no appointment needed." Cool, I like that - just drop in..

So I took them up on their offer. I showed up on Saturday afternoon. Mistake, (hindsight being what it may) big mistake. The service rep, I'll call him "Mr Short on Patience and Detailed Knowledge", said "well, sure, you can just show up for your service, but we can't do the car today, do you mind leaving it?" I think not; we set up an appointment for Monday morning.

Fast-forward to Monday morning. It's 8:15AM and I roll in to the dealership. I get out of my car and stand beside it, a proud Prius owner, expecting someone to come over and "help" me (spoiled by the treatment from my last dealership I suspect). One guy comes by, "have you been helped?" he asks. "Nope, not yet." I respond. "Someone will be with you shortly." "Great, I'll just stand here looking bored." My car is important to them, please stand on the line...

Another 5 minutes pass; my "looking bored" is now "looking baffled" - so many people running around, and no one seems to actually want to help me. Is a Prius "not good enough" for these people?

Another 10 minutes pass; someone else comes by, "have you been helped?" he asks? "nope, not yet, unless asking 'have you been helped yet' constitutes being helped, I've had that discussion with several of your colleagues already" - the humor is lost on him.

He takes me to "his place" where he proceeds to collect all of the relevant information (oil change, smart key is dumb sometimes, tire pressure on dash indicator is lit), then notices I've set up an appointment with Mr SPDK already, so he completes the paperwork and then brings me to Mr SPDK (my mistake - I thought all of these guys were interchangable).

Mr. Short on Patience and Detailed Knowledge berates me for not coming to him first (is this a commission business? Ten minutes into my initial wait I became a free agent, sorry fella), and is unwilling to listen to my "well, I stood over there for 20 minutes, you could have certainly come to get me if you had wanted."

He goes over the information that his colleague has recorded, looks pleased, we discuss the items, he's happy, I'm happy. The first guy said it would all take "'bout an hour," so I ask Mr SPDK where the waiting room (they've got Wifi!) is; he points me the way, and off I go.

Around 10AM, I'm a bit bored (no laptop), so I go back over to Mr SPDK to see what's up.. He checks with the technicians to see what's going on. Apparently no one told them I was waiting for the car. Even so, you'd have thought the "promised: 9:30am" entered on the work order would have clued them in? Nope, not this time. Mr SPDK sends me back to the waiting room.

An hour later, he comes and gets me - my car is done; sort of. But before we can discuss what was and was not done, he needs to berate me once more for not going to him when I first arrived in the morning. You see, he didn't know I was waiting for the car, so it's my fault it took 2.5 hours instead of the promised 1 hour. I point out that I did ask him where the waiting room was - somehow, I thought that would have clued him in - why would I want to know where the waiting room was unless I was planning on waiting?. The logic was lost on him.

On to the work that was done.. Oil change, no problem. Smart key problem, big problem. Not surprisingly, an intermittent (ok, everyone with a computer that does something, sometimes raise their hands) problem isn't readily reproducible, but if I leave the car for a longer period of time maybe they'll find something.

Yeah, right, think about that - I told you it does it once a month, for like one day, then it's perfectly fine - I'm not leaving my car with you for a month, especially if you won't give me a loaner car.

Oh, and the tire pressure indicator light - "the right rear tire has a nail in it, and as I told you on Saturday, we don't repair tires, we only replace them." What? You didn't tell me that on Saturday, all you told me on Saturday was that the normal pressure was supposed to be 34 lb/sq in; which, incidentally is wrong, I surveyed your colleagues and the other three tires on my car and they think it should be 40 lb/sq in; and what kind of car repair place can't repair a tire?"

Fine, whatever. I get in my car to go find a tire repair place, start 'er up, and there it is, big as life, just like it was 3 hours earlier - the tire pressure light, all lit up, like a teeny tiny oddly shaped, yellow Christmas tree.

Back I go, to Mr. SPDK's desk. I ask "did they add air to the tire with the nail in it?" He says "you should have come to me when you got here, then you wouldn't have had to wait so long." I respond "right, we've been through this, everything is inevitably my fault, I'm sorry, it won't happen again, can we move on please?"

He says "yes, they topped off the tire." I ask "why is the light still on?" He says "because the sensor knows there's debris in the tire (the word "debris" always makes me think of the movie "Twister" - is there a cow flying around inside my tire?), until I get it repaired, the light will stay on. Intriguing - what sort of sensor would actually detect crap stuck in the tire?

The answer? None. All it has is a pressure sensor. He lied. Or, rather, he didn't know and didn't want to say "I don't know" (he's not Mr. SPDK for no reason!).

I went to a local tire place, where a nice young man took my information and keys, and 45 minutes later (as promised - how cool was that), repaired my tire, free of charge even.

The Seat Police

Today was something of a special day for me. Why, you ask? Because I was admitted to the ranks of the "seat police!" If you haven't heard of the seat police, don't worry - many people haven't. In fact, I hadn't even heard of them until today.

The seat police are sort of like the bus patrol on grade school school busses - ordinary people singled out to maintain order amongst their ranks. In the case of the bus patrol, it's kids who basically tattle on their friends - "johnny was shooting spitballs," or "billy said a bad word and stuck bubble gum under the seat." The seat police are responsible for asking movie theater patrons whether the empty seat next to them is reserved or not, and asking people to "move down one seat" so that others can sit together.

I didn't plan on joining the SP today. It was pretty hot outside, and rather than sit home and sweat, my opposite sex significant other (OSSO) and I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean. As it turned out, many others did as well. The theater filled up pretty quickly, and not surprisingly, many people left single seats between themselves and the people nearest them. The couple to our left was no different.

As near-latecomers started arriving, I asked the man (I don't know his name, but I've taken to calling him "Mr. Cheap Bastard" or "Mr. Lying Sack of Shit") to my left whether the seat his wife's stolen popcorn (more on that later) and purse sat upon was reserved. He said yes, he was wating for a friend. I'm at a loss as to who would befriend "Mr. Lying Sack of Shit" - possibly "Mr. Used Car Salesman?"

The movie started, the mystery friend didn't appear (anyone surprised by that?), the movie ended, still no friend. So I, of course, turned to Mr LSoS and asked "I guess your friend didn't show up, huh?" At that, Mrs. LSoS said "Yes, and I left my phone on just in case he called." Mr. LSoS on the other hand said "what are you, the seat police?"

Yeah, I'm the seat police, Captain Milton Dorkenhoff. I'm here to make sure everyone else enjoys the movie. You, on the other hand, I don't give a shit about. Do you have kids? Do you teach them to lie? You shouldn't. You're not good at it.

Wait, you didn't really lie, right? I mean, sure, it wasn't actually true, but I wasn't supposed to ask you if the seat was saved, right? So I can't hold you responsible for misstating the truth?

I guess that's kind of like resumes that have subtle inaccuracies in them? You know, like "I worked at company XYZ for 20 years and my job was ABC" - sort of implying that you did ABC for 20 years but really you only did ABC for one year? As long as no one asks it's ok. Right, let's go with that.

Oh - I called him Mr. Cheap Bastard as well. I suppose I called have called him "Mr. Work the System" instead. The theater offers free refills for large popcorns - if you can empty a bag (and keep it down?), they'll refill it for you. When Mr. and Mrs. Cheap Bastard sat down, the first thing they did was start unpacking their picnic lunches - they had assorted candies in Tupperware containers, a couple of bottles of water (not the brand the theater sold), and a large theater popcorn.

BFD, they brought in their own water and candy.. I had an ice cream in with me from the place next door when I first got in line. But after getting their picnic set up, they poured their purchased popcorn into a Ziploc bag they had brought along (it was sort of like sitting next to MacGyver really), and then had the nerve (balls, juevos, cajones, eier) to go back to the food counter and get a their free refill; and took one bag home with them.

Folks, come on, are you really that hard up for cash that you need to pilfer theater popcorn?