Mr. Roadshow: Take a hike

The San Jose Mercury News has a column that I used to enjoy reading. It was Mr. Roadshow. It was pretty good, mostly entertaining. People would write in and complain about the timing of traffic lights, potholes, etc.

But lately, Mr. Roadshow has gone off the deep end. Not too long ago, he became a staunch supporter of the oil companies - assuring his readers that the companies were not gouging us, that they were not raising the price per gallon of gasoline for no reason. It's to cover their expenses, he assured us. And yet, they had record profits - is that because they overestimated their expenses? Right, whatever.

The other day he started a new campaign, to get people to drive 65. Friday, June 29 is "I drive 65" day. The Sunday paper even included a small sign that drivers can afix to their rear window that says "I drive 65."

WTF. Why do I need to afix a sign to my window to indicate that I'm going to be driving the speed limit? Should I also get a sign that says "I use my signal light?" And one that says "I stop at red lights?".

Please, stop. This is the law. It's not up for discussion. The law says that the speed limit is 65pmh, that's how fast people should be going (or slower - I get over 50MPG by driving 55mph).

Instead of people having people who drive 65mph putting a sign in their back windows, how about if people who speed put signs in their back window saying "I don't give a crap what the speed limit is, get out of my way!"

As long as I'm on the subject, something has been bothering me. California has this stupid law that says that if I'm driving along, at whatever speed, and there are people behind me who want to go faster, I have to get out of their way. Here's the thing...

Let's say I'm driving 65mph in the left lane. If someone is behind me, how do I tell whether they want to go faster than 65? Should I just assume they want to break the law? Isn't that sort of like presuming their guilt? Should I assume anyone who is behind me is conspiring to break the law (by speeding)?

Failure to Communicate

We had a new gate installed the other day ("we" means that my next door neighbor had it installed and I said "a gate? and it costs me nothing? sounds like a plan"). After it was finished, we noticed a couple of things that were "odd" about it - in particular, the cross member on the left gate was attached to the bottom rail in one corner and the side rail in the opposite corner, while the cross member for the other gate was attached to the side rail in the bottom corner and the top rail in the opposite corner. The lack of symmetry jumped out at me.

Yesterday I was watering plants and the builder (I'll call him "DipShit") came by and asked what I thought of it. The conversation went something like this:

DS: What do you think of it?
Me: It's nice, but I have a couple of questions
DS: Sure, what?
Me: Why is it that the cross members are different?
DS: They're not
Me: Sure they are, come here and look at them.
DS: I don't need to come look at them, I can see they're fine.
Me: Really, if you'd just come look at them, you'll see what I mean
DS: That's the standard way they're done.
Me: Why would that be - why does one start on the bottom rail and go to the opposite side, while the other starts on the bottom site and goes to the opposite top? That seems strange
DS: All gates are done that way
Me: Why?
DS: There's nothing wrong with it.

And then suddenly, a light goes on over DS, and he has an "holy crap, you must think I'm a real asshole right now" look on his face (he was right, in fact, and sadly, that impression is the one that stuck).

Then he walks over and looks at my side of the fence and sees what I've been telling him has been wrong and our conversation continues:

DS: Oh, I see, yes, they're different, but it's fine. Either way works just as well, which way would you prefer?
Me: I prefer this style, from the bottom rail up to the opposite side
DS: The other way offers more support.
Me: But didn't you just tell me that either way works just as well? It seems like now you're telling me that one way is better.
DS: Either is fine. What do you think of everything else we did?
Me: Uhm, ok.. Will your people be back to repaint? And are you guys going to rebury the sprinkler line you dug up?
DS: It's a drip line, it doesn't have to be underground
Me: True, but it was underground before you guys installed the gate, and it looks much nicer buried, don't you think?

Hello? Are you an idiot (I know you're an asshole, but are you an idiot also)? Are you hoping your piss poor attitude is going to win you a glowing recommendation on the local neighborhood association website? Or repeat business?