Presidential Exploratory Committee

As many of you have speculated over the past days and weeks, I've decided to form a Presidential Exploratory Committee. Some of you are probably thinking "you have no experience" and you're right, I'm not the most experienced candidate, but experience will only get you so far. But really, what is experience anyway - isn't it just a fancy term for "baggage?" Do you really want a president with excess baggage? I certainly wouldn't.

Many of my opponents have said that they want to "talk to" America, or "have a conversation with" America. I don't. We're all realists here. We all know that I'm not really interested in hearing what you have to say. I'm a politician. I have my objectives; maybe they're the same as yours, maybe they're not, but that's irrelevant. Ultimately I'm the one who will be serving in office; I'm the one who will have a legacy, so we're going to do things my way. I know, it hurts to hear the truth, but better now than later, right?

Thank you for your support.