Food, shmood, shut up and eat!

Many years ago, I went to the local bagel place (Noah's Bagels) and to get a bagel. It was something of a routine really - I'd go to the coffee shop next door (Peet's Coffee), order a coffee, then order the bagel, then back to the coffee shop to pick up my coffee, then back to the bagel shop, and then outside to kick back, nosh, read the paper, etc. This day would be different however.

Ordering went as expected, and everything was ready. But when I sat down and unwrapped my bagel, it was obvious something had gone horribly wrong. Instead of a "sandwich" where there's a bagel top, cream cheese, and a bagel bottom, I had some sort of disfigured bagel carcass. The top was fine - dry on the top, a bit of cream cheese on the bottom where it would join the bagel bottom. But the bagel bottom - it somehow ended up folded in half, and had cream cheese on all exposed sides - leaving no place for my hands to actually hold the bagel..

You're probably thinking that I became incensed, and demanded my money back.. Surprise, I ddin't. I packed up the remains of the bagel, brought them back into the store, placed it on the counter, and calmly asked the clerk "is this the best you can do?"

It took a moment or two, but the clerk caught on and opened up the bagel wrapper. I can't recall whether he was surprised at the state of the bagel or not, but I remember the woman who had prepared it (though "prepare" doesn't quite describe what she did) walking past, looking at the bagel, and asking rather rudely "what's his problem?" refering to me.

They remade my bagel, and I'm sure I took it and ate it, but that was the last time I went to any Noah's bagel shop (ever); and I'm sure their stock has suffered as a result..

Why am I writing about something that happened so many years ago? Because I can't think of anything else to write about? No, I'm writing about the incident because it happened again, yesterday, right here at work, in the cafeteria.

It was "Buffalo Chicken Wrap" (though calling it a "wrap" is a misnomer, as it's not really wrapped or anything - it's just sort of splayed out on the plate - perhaps it should be called a "Buffalo Chicken Splay") day at the cafeteria grill (formerly my favorite). I got in line, and when my turn came, I ordered "the special."

Several completed wraps were sitting on the counter behind the grillmeister (GM for short), so I expected one right away. But I got nothing. Dissed, I was. He ignored me and gave several other people whatever they had ordered (non-special of the day things though).

A few minutes later, I was still waiting for my special, and, there, on the counter, were the same specials as before, slowly rotting away, ripe for the picking. GM picked one up and asked me what kind of fries I wanted with it. Silly question really, I've never not had the regular ones.

Here's the thing - he put the fries on the wrap. Not next to it mind you, but actually right on top of it, as if that was "normal." What's up with that? The special was a "Buffalo Chicken Wrap," it wasn't a "Buffalo Chicken/French Fries Wrap" - would it have killed you to move the pita to the side some so the fries could go on the plate?

No, it wouldn't have killed you, but you would have gotten the sauce which had since soaked through the pita on your hands, or possibly exposed the other side of the pita, which was charred like a campfire.

Sorry GM, it was a nice ride, but it's over. I'll be grazing over at the salad bar from now on. It might not be any better, but at least I have a bit more control over what I end up with on my plate. Who knows, maybe I'll find a frog in the lettuce..